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40 0z. of Steak

May 28, 2012

6:45 AM found me out on the deck in my underwear setting a new record for the world’s earliest cookout.  As you can see, I was feeling pretty good about this:

Also, the neighbors were happy about it.

For breakfast I had the classic steak and eggs, but without the eggs.  It was pretty tasty.  It’s strange, butter comes from cows, and steak comes from cows, but steak is way better!  As far as I can tell cows can pretty much only make two kinds of butter, salted and unsalted.  They are way better, however, at making steak.  They can make so many kinds.  I’ll prove it.

The full menu.

I bought steaks called “eye of round” which appeared red and meaty.  They were of a mid to low price, and I am unable to locate them on my cow map above.  They were round, but I think they had very little to do with any actual eyes.

As you probably know, I am in the habit of eating in the car on the way to work, but to really enjoy this properly I thought I would eat it hot and fresh.  This was a good decision, but breakfast ended up being a good bit earlier than normal.  By the time 8:30 rolled around I was ready for more food. I fought the hunger, pushed it down, told it it wasn’t real, and what do you know?  It went away.  I felt fine, right up to lunch.

As I sat down with a pound of medium rare eye of round steak I thought about a strange conversation I’d just had.  My friend Paul loves beef with a love that most people reserve for close relatives that don’t annoy them too much.  Last week while cooking a dozen hamburgers he told me it was his “last hurrah.”  No more beef.  My first thought was a surprise terminal illness.  Maybe he’d actually contracted mad cow disease, it had made him go crazy and would shortly kill him.  Maybe his young and healthy wife had suffered a super rare heart attack.  I braced myself for the worst, and stared blankly at him waiting for an explanation.

“It’s environmental,” he said.

We’ve all heard that, but I have never looked deeper.  What are the impacts of meat?  I chewed thoughtfully on my delicious steak and resolved to learn about it… on day… maybe once my cholesterol starts giving my doctor problems.

Fact Number 1: Livestock production puts more greenhouse gasses into the environment than all the cars, trucks, trains, ships, and airplanes on earth? Some of it comes from methane produced by cows.   Source.

That’ll warm things up!

Fact Number 2: Between 70 and 80 percent of the grain grown in the United States is fed to livestock.  Source.

Fact Number 3: 26 percent of the ice free surface of the earth is used grazing livestock.  Source.

Fact Number 4: With all the arable land on earth and current farming methods, only 2.8 billion people can survive while eating a typical North American diet.  If everyone cut meat from their diets that number would increase to 17 billion.  Source.


After work, my brother Shane came over.  We had a nice little cook out involving an unmemorable cut of beef.  Immediately afterwards we ran some steep hills and muddy trails in a nearby park.  Our nieces were there swinging so we took a little break to push them “high as the sky,” which is apparently about 4.5 feet high. We ran back to the house and called it a night.  I didn’t feel speedy, but I felt fine.

Now for poop:  A lot of people warned me that I would be horribly constipated.  This did not prove to be exactly true.  The next day I did not feel any need to defaecate.  So I didn’t… for a while.  Eventually, I thought I should try, just in case.  No dice.  the next day dawned and everything was like brand new, with no apparent build up from missed time.

Cost:  $12

Taste: Tasty

Performance: Fine

Fulness Factor:  It was just about the perfect amount of food.  I was neither stuffed nor hungry.  Interestingly, to get the same amount of calories from chicken breast a person must eat twice the amount.

X Factor: I felt like an All American Man all day long.

Fact Number 5: I am not a vegetarian.  Source.


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  1. Kim M from PA permalink

    You are hysterical! I am enjoying your escapades and appreciate all you do in the name of science.

  2. tracy permalink

    Love reading your blog, keep it up!

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