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10 Cups of White Rice

May 7, 2012

Roughly two thirds of all the people in the world eat rice every day.  That’s over four billion people!  That’s a lot of rice being eaten.  I think it’s time that Science (AKA this blog) gave rice a good hard look.  What exactly is it the most of our world is eating as their main source of calories?  I set out on a journey of brand new exploration, like a Japanese tourist who discovers Times Square for the very first time.

First thing to do was check out what people are eating in different parts of the world.

According to this fascinating map the average American consumes more calories than anyone else on earth, a whopping 3,754 in one day. Compare that to The Democratic Republic of Congo, where the average citizen eats less than half of what an American does, coming in at 1606 calories a day.  This same country tops the UN’s list of the most undernourished countries in the world.  Three our of Four people are reportedly suffering from serous undernourishment.

I decided to do some real hardcore research on this topic using the scientific method.  I typed “Average American” into google images and here is the first hit:

I then searched “Average Congolese.” Again, here is the first hit.

Shoot!  Somebody get that girl some food.  And get me a plane ticket.  Somebody needs to go do some relief work.

I decided to eat  white rice, and I chose a variety called basmati, because it’s my favorite.  If this was a real food blog I would describe it for you, with all its super long grains and wonderfully earthy flavor, but let’s get back to the science.  Three and one third cups of dry basmati is 2000 calories.  I cooked that all in a pot and it blew up to about 10 cups.  You can see a picture of it right here:

Those containers are already full.

Looking at that mass of food, I thought that the best plan of attack would be to divide it into 5 roughly equal portions.  You know, breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, and second dinner.  I thought these guys would be proud:

“Way to go buddy!”

Breakfast was rather bland.  I at it plain and cold.  I felt exactly this excited about it:

“Boring… I wouldn’t even beg for that.”

Two cups of rice is a lot of food, and I felt pleasantly full afterwards.  It was steady cruising all the way to lunch also.  My mind was sharp as a tack… which isn’t always the case, and I had plenty of energy.

Lunch was shaping up to be even more boring than breakfast, so I added just a hint of salt and pepper.  “Non nutritive” as my favorite doctor would say, so it wouldn’t skew my results.  I felt awesome right up until 4:30 when I had a good snack, which was surprisingly similar to breakfast and lunch.  I had already used a bit of S and P at lunch, so I just loaded it down for my snack.  It was delicious.

By this point in the day I was pretty sure I had just discovered the word’s most perfect food.  I was feeling like $100.  I went home and had an early dinner.  This time I slathered it in soy sauce.  I know… I’m on a real downward spiral here.  But can you blame me?  Plain= so boring!  With soy sauce=

It was time to test the performance.  I was pretty nervous.  I went out to a nice trail, did a bit of stretching.  I warmed up and touched my knees.  This was going to be my first run since Chocolate.  I started off at a nice slow pace.  My ankle was holding up, my muscles felt fine, my breathing was smooth, but man did the park benches look good!  My nice slow pace was turning into something glacial.  Then I saw a cute puppy so I stopped to play with him.  He licked the sweat off my ankle, and I felt a little weird about that.

I made it to a mile and a half and though I had earned a break.  I stopped and spent a while testing my auditory songbird identification skills.  I’m sorry to report they are pretty dismal.  I got running again, saw a park bench with a surprisingly nice view and sat on it for a while.  I met some nice people and had a chat about the one post office town of Strickersville.  I got running again, and finished out my last mile at a blazing 10 minute pace, which was by far the fastest of the day.

At home I had my last dinner of the day, and felt very satisfied.  Running aside, if I had to choose a favorite food that I have tested so far, it would definitely be rice!  I really felt great all day.  Didn’t exactly break the bank either.

Now for poop: I was highly impressed by my body’s ability to use such a mass of food with incredible efficiency.  Very very little was wasted.

Cost: $1.20, that’s less than the cost of a cup of coffee people.

Taste: Well, I cheated… so, great!

Performance: Terrible, but It was my first run after taking two weeks off for a sprain.  I think it deserves a re-test.

Fullness Factor: Absolutely perfect.  Not too full, not hungry, just right!

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One Comment
  1. So, are you gonna post about 15.5 Cups of Vomit?

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