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25 Apples

January 16, 2012

This'll keep 25 doctors away.

I think that we can agree that vegetables didn’t work out all that well.  I decided for the sake of self preservation and science to try fruit.  Apples in particular.

I went to the store and checked out the selection.  There wasn’t that much going on.  I picked up a bag of granny smiths, a bag of galas, and a bag of something vaguely reddish and mushy that said it was “east coast grown.”   This made me feel very socially conscious and I felt like I was just doing my part to eat locally and responsibly. (really, find the time and click that link)

At 80 calories each, it was going to take 25 apples to get enough calories.  That’s between 7 and 8 lbs.  Easy.

I ate breakfast in the car on the way to work.  5 apples.  Now I normally love apples.  A good crispy fuji makes me feel like this:

Too Soon?

But my locally grown eastern apples were more like this:

Kinda Gross

Anyway, I ate them and felt pretty good.  I got hungry around 10:30 so I had a snack of 2 more apples.  Granny smiths this time, and they were sour delicious.

I had another 6 apples for lunch.  I cored and quartered them with a knife for a change of pace.

Now this afternoon I felt a touch of nausea.  Just a touch, but it sent cold shivers down my spine.  I thought it might be a repeat of last week.  Just then a kid in my class  peed himself, and I had to do some tricky dodging to keep him from peeing on me too.  Tricky because we were on a ropes course 30 feet up.  That put me in a different frame of mind and my stomach felt much better.

I had another 5 apples toward the end of the afternoon and went home to try the performance test.  I got home sat down and felt like I might be down for the night.  I was so tired that three miles sounded like a marathon, and not like a lord of the rings movie marathon, or something you can do from the couch.

This I can handle!

But I bit the bullet, put my running shoes on and went outside.  I started running, and I started running faster, and I peeled of 3 eight minute miles with ease.  Now I know that’s a far cry from olympic, but I felt extremely excellent.

This is me. I felt like flying!

Now I had saved most of my granny smiths for dinner.  I ate 4 of them but my jaws were getting tired, so I decided to do some cooking.  We all know granny smiths are the best cooked, so I was in luck.

That's better!

I stabbed it full of holes and put it in the microwave for 2 minutes.  As it got super hot juice started shooting out of the holes I had poked and made a mess of the microwave.  But it was delicious.  Think of an apple dumpling sans dumpling.

I decided to cook the rest but didn’t want to destroy the microwave, so I quartered them and threw them in for three minutes.


This is the part of the show where I make a confession.  During my two thousand calorie project I have wavered on whether to define a day as 24 hours or as waking up to going to bed.  After 9 pm it had been 24 hours and 25 apples since my last other food.  So I ate desert.  It was, or course, an apple crisp.

Better Than Perfect!

Hunger:  Well, I actually was pretty hungry all day.  Which beats being sick, but still not the best.  Keep in mind that I probably eat more like 3200 calories on a normal day, so some hunger is expected with whatever food I’m eating.

Cost: $11.

Performance: excellent.

Taste: Would have been better during apple season.  As it was, sub par.

Now to answer your question: Despite what you may think, my stock of Imodium proved entirely unnecessary.


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  1. The Doctor permalink

    Much safer, almost no danger of gut wrenching death. However, apple pips (seeds) do contain Amygdalin, which releases cyanide when broken down by digestive juices in the gut and could result in lethal toxicity.

    here’s some info paraphrased from the naked scientists:
    • Amygdalin occurs in more than 2,000 plant species; cassava and stone fruits like plums, peaches, apricots, and bitter almonds.
    • It’s often said that cyanide smells of bitter almonds, but actually, it’s the other way around; bitter almonds smell of cyanide.

    • You need about 1 milligram of cyanide per kilo of body weight to kill a human being.
    • Apple seeds contain about 700 milligrams of cyanide per kilo
    • 100 grams of apple seeds should be enough to kill a 70-kg adult human
    • Seeds would have to be finely crushed to let the enzymes get to the amygdalin
    • If a seed weighs 0.7 grams, then you’d need to eat 143 seeds.
    • A typical apple will contain about 8 seeds.

    So you would have to eat 18 apple cores in one sitting!

    Friend, you certainly do live on the edge.

  2. Love keeping up with your eating experiments! Though I have to say that eating that much of any one food (especially carrots) is SCARY!!! LOL

  3. only problem with adidng water is that it dilutes the juice. This is important to consider if you are juice feasting, because you want to get the most nutrients without getting extra fluid, which can cause diuresis, therefore causing a loss of nutrient absorption.

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